People Archives - Page 3 of 7

No Smoking Day, 2015

March 12, 2015Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

UK celebrates today the national ‘No Smoking Day’. Now, I know I’m not one of theirs (although, does loving British accent count? How about missing London? Or maybe having a British ex-boyfriend? No? Ok…) but it made me think. Made me think about all the people I met in my life and smoke, and also about me, cause I used to smoke too.

I first tried smoking in my first year of high school. All my friends did it and it was cool. Also, they used to go outside on breaks, so I would be the only one staying with the geeks. At least, that’s how I saw things then. So I tried smoking, it was no good, it wasn’t for me.

Until a few years later, when my friends in uni smoked. And I was going through a break up. So I started finding peace in smoking. Until I started having heart palpitations from smoking a pack a day and drinking energy drinks like they were water. And then I quit.

Until my last year of university, when I was stressed. So I started doing it again. Also, back then I had a boyfriend with whom I lived and who used to smoke. A lot. So we smoked together (a great couple does silly things together, right?!). Until he and I broke up.

And that was it. I stopped smoking for good, initially because of the fact that it hurt me, emotionally speaking. The smoke itself, myself smoking and the people around me who smoked or anything that smelled like smoke reminded me of him. So I had to quit in order to get over him. It wasn’t until later that I realized I was only smoking to relieve stress, so I found another way to do it. I joined a gym. This is my happy ending.

Now, I am no judge of people who smoke or why they do it. Everyone has their reasons and every each and one of us knows what’s best for them. But I will tell you one thing that I learned after having many friends who smoked and also some ex-boyfriends.

I would never ever be able to have a serious relationship with someone who smokes. It may seem a bit hypocritical of me, since I used to enjoy it. But the reasoning is simple – I can’t watch my love one hurt himself. I now work in the medical field, more or less. I’ve seen what smoking does to the oral health only, so don’t even get me started in general.

Also, and this is my personal perk – I want, I need to feel the natural smell of someone’s skin. It’s a part of love, part of a relationship. How could I fall in love with someone who always smells like smoke? With someone who smells like thousands others? Yeah, I’ve been there, it wasn’t special.

So, my message to my smoking friends and people who are dear to me?

10 Lovely Quotes about Spring

March 2, 2015Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

The amazing season called Spring is officially here! It’s time for the sun to shine and the flowers to blossom. It’s the time to be happy for the days that will get longer and the rainbows (so what if they follow the April showers). Also, perfect moment to be in love with anything and everything! Oh, and Goodbye winter jackets – Hello to the walks in the park!

I feel like Spring brings out the optimistic side of people, it makes them more happy and beautiful. As it does to the nature, also. People and trees both, are blooming! Since it’s my fav season of the year, I’ll leave you with my top random quotes about Spring 🙂

10.

Let us have a wonderful one!

FYI: Facebook introduces Legacy Contact

February 13, 2015Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

Facebook introduced yesterday new policy that allows a trusted friend of yours, designated as the ‘legacy contact‘, to pin a post on your Timeline, after your death. This acts more or less as a funeral announcement. Still, the designated friend won’t be able to log in on your account or read your messages, but he/she can respond to new friend requests and update your photos (profile and cover). Take note that your contact won’t be able to delete or change things already shared on your Timeline.

As you may or may not know, before this, accounts could be memorialized, deleted or left unchanged, after friends or family reported the death. Memorializing meant freezing the account so it no longer appeared in searches or notifications. Now even with the legacy contact, accounts can still be deleted, if wanted so.

The legacy policy was requested by families and friends of the deceased, along with their wish of downloading the user’s photos and making announcements about the situation. Important to know is that this new policy is optional, it can be set only if you want to.

At the moment, this policy is available only in the US, but the social network plans to have it established around the world also, time frame unknown. When available in your country, and if you want to set it, just follow these simple steps:

1. Go to Settings -> Security -> Legacy Contact

2. Choose your legacy contact and send a message to that contact (optional)

3. Select if you want to give permission to your legacy contact to download an archive of the photos, posts and profile info that you’ve shared on Facebook.

Featured photo: Mashable

When plans don’t go your way…

February 9, 2015Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

You create new ones.

We know life is good when we have control over it, but what happens when you don’t?

I used to teach people about how to let go of the need of control… I learned how to let go of it and enjoy life, I worked real hard with myself in order to do that. My need for control was so big that I had a fear of the dark until I was 18 years old. I am proud to say that I confronted it and defeated it, once I learned that it came from my fear of losing control. In the dark, I could not see things so I was scared. Now I enjoy, both the loss of control and the dark.

And since this is a lesson that many people could benefit from, I started teaching it… Until I encountered a less than happy situation.

I ended last year with a terrible cold – or at least, that’s what I thought it was. Immediately after Christmas, during New Year’s Eve and until February, I was constantly sick. I had many symptoms related to a cold, so I treated it as one. Later on, it turned into a sinusitis, which I instantly recognized since I have it very often. It didn’t get better so I went to my doctor’s office, who said it was bronchitis. I started treatment, only to get worse over weekend and to end up at a hospital, where I found it was a severe sinus infection, plus another severe nasal septum deviation, plus another thing. To tell the short version, my nose was causing me not being able to breathe, sleep, eat or stand. Basically, every little thing that helps one enjoy a life.

Back from the hospital and on new treatment, I went home only to feel really bad the next night. So, naturally, the next morning they put me in hospital, on perfusion. And here it goes like this: on my way to the hospital, I get a phone call from my cousin in the other part of the country, letting me know that my grandfather had died that morning…

I started crying, yelling, shouting, screaming that it wouldn’t be true… I hadn’t seen him in 3 years. The history goes that my parents split up when I was 8 years old, that would be 15 years ago. My father’s family is across the country, at a 8h drive and 12h ride by train… In addition to that, I didn’t keep in touch with my dad, so it wasn’t that easy for me to go visit that side of the family, but I would always think of them and remember my childhood and memories with them, before the age of 8. Still, I had a chance to visit them a few years ago.

My grandfather was the one who used to please every little thing me and my cousin wanted… And he hadn’t changed over the years. I felt like a child again… I promised to visit more often… But time passed by real quick and 3 years after I went there, he died and I wasn’t there at least one more time… The sad part? While I was sick and couldn’t breathe or sleep, I thought of him and I had planned to visit this summer, just a few months from then. I also wanted to tell my cousin to say to him that I was thinking of him… But I hadn’t had the chance, being sick I wasn’t in the mood to give phone calls… And then I receive the news from her…

I cried for 3 hours nonstop, and then I went blank. I wasn’t allowed to cry having a needle stuck in my vein, while at the hospital… So I tried to retain myself until I got home. After a few days, at home, I cried again, but I had no more tears. It just hurt so much and I blamed myself for not visiting or for at least not letting my cousin know that I think of him, so she can say to him and that he could hear it one more time before he went away… I just blamed myself for many things, I pushed away all my friends who tried to be by my side. As I told them, I felt that words couldn’t help me, I just needed some time alone. And so I took that time and it helped me. It helped me rationalize all this, so I wouldn’t blame myself anymore and so that I could take back my life, step by step. I was – and still am – devastated and it still hurts so much, I don’t yet feel the need to socialize with people.

The though part is that I work in PR, Communication and Networking. I am still on sick leave, I don’t feel functional… But I do have hope that I will be back there soon, because I love my job and I love what I do. I already am better than last week, I started reading and have interest in day-to-day life. I watched movies and took my time to get better. My friends have been there for me, even though I did not ask them to. The only I thing I did ask them was to leave me alone so that I can have my own time, to get better at my own pace. Because in their wish to make me feel better, they were always calling and sending me texts and visiting me, but the questions were always the same – how was I feeling, how was I holding up… I appreciated their concern and now I appreciate them even more because they gave me exactly what I needed, when I needed it. They were there for me until I told them not to be, and then they gave me space, they gave me time. Until I went back to them and started initiating conversations. That was the moment they knew I was ready for the next level, and then they were there again, by my side.

It’s not easy, losing someone dear… And it’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault. It’s okay to take as much time as one can, to be functional both physically and emotionally – because a loss causes damage to both. I literally felt like my heart was tearing up and falling into pieces when I found out. I actually felt physical pain…

Some people are more used to the feeling, but to me, it was my first experience of this kind. I was lucky to be surrounded by people who care for me, and who understood and offered me what I needed. Because it hurts to realize that nobody can help you but you, and the sad part is that not even you can find a way to help yourself… It’s all about the time that passes, that’s the only thing that makes it better… Of course, your will to bounce back is an important key to all this.

It still hurts, but I found out that I was the only one who could help me… Especially since other people’s lives go on, regardless what you’re going through. Also, no matter how many people surround you and care about you, at the end of the day, at night, you’re still alone with your own thoughts and memories… Try to make peace with yourself, to be able to have a life. Because there is life after loss, no matter how hard it seems at the moment.

I started this post by saying that I used to teach people about letting go the need of control. I also told you that I thought I was already living a life in which I was okay with the loss of control. Recently, I found out that loss of control comes in many ways, and the only thing that you really can control, is your reaction to it.

Even though it sounds like a cliche, trust me, things get better with time…

2014’s Lessons

December 30, 2014Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

My Facebook newsfeed is full of these ‘X’s year’ and ‘It’s been a great year! Thanks for being a part of it!’… Really now, you’re only fooling yourselves. Facebook is only showing you the most popular things throughout this year. And since you only post the good stuff, how can you honestly be proud of what Facebook mixes from your profile?

Still, this made me think of my year. So I took it as a personal challenge to look back at my 2014. I met so many people that taught me things and I’m really grateful for that. I can think of any month of this year and recall a person that touched me, one way or another.

I remember that my January started with the Maroon 5 concert in London (ah-mah-zing). Once I returned, I had to concentrate on my bachelor’s degree so I closed my Facebook (it was a big deal to me!). So I had more time for Instagram and Foursquare, lol.

At the beginning of February I fell in love, the kind of feeling that makes or breaks you, that turns and changes you. It wasn’t the first time I fell in love, but this… this really was something. I was so fascinated by him that I used to look at him and think – this is the type of man I want for a husband. Kind of silly, I know, but he was magic to me. He had me wake up in the morning while having a smile on my face. It was that kind of thing when you lie awake just to see him sleep. But it ended, just like that.

My March was divided between getting back on my feet and my trip to Vienna and seeing my friends and doing my job. So, I got on a plane to Vienna for a few days and had a wonderful time with Couchsurfing friends, Tommi and Chris. There’s where I got my Green Hat from Chris, on Saint Patrick’s Day.

In April I met someone whom I really loved and not necessarily in a romantic way. It was just the way that we were so alike that I felt him like a part of me, even if we had just met. We would even finish each other’s sentences or know what we were about to say before we even say it. It was so real that I would call him ‘my person’ (like in Grey’s Anatomy).

My May was full of activities with ‘my person’, until something wasn’t the way it used to be. We were just so alike, that we were bothered by the same things and we would react in the same way. It was kind of freaky…

So in June we distanced ourselves. June was also my month when I visited Belgium. Whole story, here. Aaand, that is also the month when I had a car accident… It was my fault and luckily there were no victims, but my car got hurt kind of bad (it hurt me also because I love my car) so I had to take it into a car service and leave it there. It was bad to see it like that… She’s my little dragon.

July was the month I was car-less, and I had to suffer because of that. No more trips to the gym, no more going out. I’m kind of a princess in that way, it is very possible that I was born in a car. Or conceived there, don’t know. All I knew this month was to work and go home and work again.

Well, in August things started to get more interesting. I met a lot of beautiful people, and I mean A LOT! I loved them, all of them, for everything they were. And, at some point, a crazy dude broke my knee :)) But that also was fun, in its own weird way, it hurt like hell!

So, August and September were my off-months from work, since I had to only stay in bed… And afterwards I had to move around in a crutch to go to the hospital. September was also the month when I started this blog. It was a really big deal to me and it’s this year’s biggest accomplishment. It had been on my mind for some time but only then I had the time to start it. Also, this was the time I got really close to a friend I now appreciate and respect immensely.

October was the month that I had to catch up with my work and the changes that have been made in the last months that I spent in bed. I don’t even know how this month passed, really. I was super busy, as a bee. But I still had time for a concert and also to re-do my wrist tattoo and get a weekend off to go to the seaside!

Then came November and had my head in my work also, but I also started seeing things from other perspectives. I started having dreams and getting interested on how to make them real. More about that, next year!

Oh well, and December… December is my month, since I’m born on the 16th. And still, I am spoiled enough to have not only a birthday, but a whole birth-week! So, I took advantage of it and celebrated it every day. And since my plan wasn’t enough, my friends surprised me and made me start my celebration even earlier, 2 days earlier. So they made me Princess and got me a diploma that says that I’m the happiest girl alive!

Oh, they also got me a Princess birthday cake made out of Bubblegum and Marshmallows Ice-Cream!

My end of December brought me a biiiiiiig disappointment, but I guess I had to leave this one here, in 2014, so I can start fresh in 2015. I thought I had met someone really special, only to find out that I have been lied to. It was my first time when someone actually admitted to my face that he’d been lying to me. It was a shock at first, and then I was just happy it was over and that I no longer had a person like that in my life. The sad part? I thought he was something else. I think my douche-radar is broken or something, I usually sense this, honestly…

But overall, I am really happy. I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve fallen in love and have been disappointed, I met new people – some good and some not so nice, I learned new things and how to deal with certain situations. Oh, and I saw Adam Levine live in concert! I got this blog that started as a place to gather my thoughts and stories of life, but I receive messages from my readers that are inspired by what they find here… It’s really impressive, so this one is about you, my readers. I’m planning something nice for 2015, promise! We can keep in touch on Facebook also, here.

At the end of 2014, all I can say is that I am really curios about 2015 🙂 Because I’m sucker for endings and beginnings.

Receiving is an art…

December 26, 2014Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

Giving is easy, we all love to do that especially when it comes to material things. How about receiving?

I think we can all state, after looking at the people around us and including ourselves, that we might be pretty good givers, but we fail at the attempt of receiving – gifts, compliments, help, you name it.

Well, giving and receiving are key aspects of a complete experience when it comes to human interaction. Imagine if all of us would be great givers, who would receive what we feel the need to give? I know now, receiving isn’t easy, but how can we change that? And this one is a decisive question, not only because of the season we’re in.

Let’s look at it this way – How giving to others makes you feel? Do you feel appreciation? How about pride for making another person happy? So, it’s all about you. No problem, we all are kind of egotistic and do things in order to make ourselves feel better. Even when we help others. Let’s stop here for a second and look at the other person. How does he/she feel? Maybe, the thing you just offered saved them a lot of trouble. Or money. Maybe they truly needed your gift. Maybe they didn’t know they need it, and you just made them realize that. Again, it’s not about you – it’s about them.

So, why not let them give something back? Why not let them make you feel the way you made them feel? And eventually, in the most egotistic form, let them be like that for a change! Let them feel great for giving.

My personal opinion? I think we don’t know how to receive anything because of one single reason – We don’t know our worth. We don’t know what we deserve and we can’t accept the fact that someone figures it out (figures us out) better than ourselves. In the end, isn’t all of this about us and us only?

The next time you find yourself in a situation like this, remember the next: Those two – giving and receiving – should be a part of our daily experiences. If the giving part comes natural and we don’t always analyze its benefit, the receiving one is vital to our mental balance and spiritual connection.

Life tip: Accept compliments, enjoy gifts, appreciate the people you have around, make the most of every little thing that is given to you! How can you do that? Improving your communication skills would be an idea. A ‘thank you’ is nice, but how about ‘That is so sweet of you to say that’ or ‘I really appreciate you noticing that’? If you’re bold you can even try an ‘You made my day!’.

I challenge you to use of those at least once a day for a week, then watch your perspective change 🙂

Many People, not enough Humans

December 7, 2014Ana Maria Popa Leave a Comment

You meet people everywhere, you interact with them and yet – do you really know them? Could you, if asked, differentiate their skills?

You know that moment when someone asks you for a professional recommendation and you say – ‘Oh, I know a person who would be perfect for the job!’ while you think of your best friend? Well, you just recommended the person, the friend, for a job you don’t know what skills requires.

Unfortunately, people are not the same in social life as well as in the professional life. Be very aware the next time you endorse someone.

My thought on this, after seeing and experiencing this type of imbalance between their two (or more) sides – I’ve met people so in love with their work and passion that they didn’t know how to relate to people next to them. They are the professionals and I would mention them to anyone in need of a certain thing their field covers. Still, I wouldn’t recommend them as a friend or as someone you can count on – social skills needed here.

Not ashamed of what I am about to say, I fell in love at some point in my life with a professional. And that was all he was, that is all I remember of him. I remember that when I met him, I was impressed by his confidence, by the control that he had over the public he was speaking to. I met him on his playground and I was a sure catch, given the fact that that’s all he was – a professional. But I started liking him even more when I saw the passion in his eyes when he talked about his work. After some time, we started getting closer and closer. We tried a relationship, we spent weekends together. All he knew was work. Our weekends were spent in his large living room, each one of us on his sofa and on our laptops. He always had some work to do – ‘I have to read the latest news and stay up to date’, ‘I need to send a proposal to this client’ etc. When I managed to get him out of his laptop (rare times) and tried to communicate with him, to exchange opinions and experiences, that was the moment when I realized he was only a professional. He couldn’t handle a human interaction. He wasn’t a human.

Another moment when you have to know the difference is the exact opposite. You have a friend who’s always there, no matter what. Well, guess what, if he is always there, even if you call him at noon when he’s working, he might not be a professional, so don’t recommend him in that field. There are people who are defined by just one thing and you can’t do anything about it. Just know what they are good at and don’t make them anything more than they are. It’s just like that. A friend who would rather stay out at night and have another beer with the gang even though he might work early in the morning is just a friend and not someone you should take into consideration for a professional recommendation.

I want to go even further than what I already said now and state a difference that I learned from my personal experience. Let’s be clear that some people might be great friends and just that, so don’t turn then into a significant other. A few years ago, I had a friend who was always there. Always there to help me with whatever I needed, whenever I needed it. He was so supportive I couldn’t believe it. Over time, we got really close and started forming a couple. Bad idea – really! Because now, I did have a helpful boyfriend. He knew that I loved that part of him and that I would support him on helping others, so he started helping more the others than me. So, we were at this BBQ thing with all his friends and he was the one who would take care of the BBQ and the one who would make the salad and the one who would take pictures, so that all our friends would stay in couples and the girls wouldn’t feel lonely there without their boyfriends. The only problem was, while he was doing everything for the others, I was the only one who was alone there, without her boyfriend. And it wasn’t even his house where we had the BBQ. When I talked to him about what bothered me, he told me that was the way he was and that was the way I liked him to be. Well, needless to say what happened next. I came to realize that he was a great friend and a helpful one, on whom I can count on, but he was a terrible boyfriend. So after some time we got back to being friends again. And friends only.

My point is – get to know people, love them, but for you and for the sake of others, also know their limits. Appreciate them for who they are and just know what they won’t ever be. Don’t make them more than they are and don’t lay your expectations on them.